MUTHA readers know the stats. We know that mothers still do triple the amount of “cognitive labor” as fathers. But let’s stop calling it that. “Cognitive labor” sounds like a white paper. Let’s call it what it is:
The cruelty of the default parent role isn’t the exhaustion. It’s the of the work. Because if you do your job perfectly, no one notices. The kids get to school. The socks match. The prescription is filled. The silence of success is the absence of crisis. And in that silence, the world tells you: See? It’s not that hard. You’re just relaxing.
My husband walked into the bathroom and asked, “Hey, what’s the plan for dinner?”
Last Tuesday, at 6:47 AM, I realized my brain had become a server room.
I didn’t know I was signing up for a middle-management job where I’m the CEO, the janitor, the cruise director, and the emotional support animal.
So tonight, when my husband asks, “What’s for dinner?” I’m going to try something radical. I’m going to say, “I don’t know. What are you making?”
MUTHA readers know the stats. We know that mothers still do triple the amount of “cognitive labor” as fathers. But let’s stop calling it that. “Cognitive labor” sounds like a white paper. Let’s call it what it is:
The cruelty of the default parent role isn’t the exhaustion. It’s the of the work. Because if you do your job perfectly, no one notices. The kids get to school. The socks match. The prescription is filled. The silence of success is the absence of crisis. And in that silence, the world tells you: See? It’s not that hard. You’re just relaxing. mutha magazine
My husband walked into the bathroom and asked, “Hey, what’s the plan for dinner?” MUTHA readers know the stats
Last Tuesday, at 6:47 AM, I realized my brain had become a server room. “Cognitive labor” sounds like a white paper
I didn’t know I was signing up for a middle-management job where I’m the CEO, the janitor, the cruise director, and the emotional support animal.
So tonight, when my husband asks, “What’s for dinner?” I’m going to try something radical. I’m going to say, “I don’t know. What are you making?”