I opened the folder (yes, I actually checked my spam quarantine, as one does at 2 AM when insomnia hits). And there they were. Digital coupons for “Squirt.”

But here’s the thing about modern language: context is a dying art. I clicked the coupon. I braced myself for something NSFW. Instead, I was greeted by a high-resolution image of a dew-covered, bright pink grapefruit can of .

If they hand me a soda, I win. If they call security, I also win.

The Weekly Grind Post Title: I Found “Squirt Coupons” in My Spam Folder & Now I Have Questions