Mama Fiona – Your Stepmom Is A Size Queen _top_ ✪ 〈SAFE〉

It said: “You’re a grower, not a shower. But you’re also a goddamn tripod. Go forth and be humble.”

She took the tape measure from my shaking hand. Unspooled it. Looked me dead in the eye. “Your father,” she said, “is a good man. Kind. Generous. He brings me tea in bed. But he is a pencil . A number two pencil with a broken tip.” mama fiona – your stepmom is a size queen

And that’s how I spent my weekend getting coached by my stepmom on pelvic angles, foreplay duration, and the correct way to “ease in until she claws your back.” It said: “You’re a grower, not a shower

“Well, shit, kid. You’re not in the Goldilocks Zone.” It said: “You’re a grower