The heat hit at 10:15 AM. The ancient AC unit in the east wing groaned and died with a sound like a dying moose. By 10:30, the temperature in Gregory’s room hit 88 degrees. The camera, a cheap 720p model, began to overheat.

“Problem solved,” she said.

Melissa Schemmenti, queen of the second-grade wing, walked past with a box of confiscated slime. “Let ‘em film,” she said, smirking. “I’ll give ‘em a show. ‘The Real Teachers of Philly.’ Someone’s getting a spin-off.”

“The district’s new ‘Tech Integration Initiative’ dropped a camera in Greg’s room last night,” Ava said, finally glancing up with a grin. “We’re filming a ‘Day in the Life’ for the low-res archives. 720p. HD Rip style.”

“Morning, Janine,” Ava said without looking up. “Big news. We’re going viral.”

Jacob Hill, ever the optimist, was already trying to explain the concept of “verite documentary” to a group of uninterested fourth graders. “So the camera is like… a silent observer. Just be natural.”

“I don’t consent to this,” he said flatly.

On a Thursday when the Philadelphia heat breaks the school’s ancient AC, a young substitute teacher discovers that the only thing more compressed than a 720p video file is the budget for a working ice machine.